Chick TV

Where we live in rural Michigan, television reception is non-existent. Antennas provide the fuzziest picture at best, and costs prohibit the installation of satellite dishes. Major cable-TV providers like Comcast informed us they had no timeline for cable installation in our area, while AT&T seemed surprised that they had no connectivity at our location. Subsequently, evening viewings depend fully on Netflix and our own collection of older DVDs.

But now, we have Chick TV!

Available 24 hours a day, Chick TV provides comedy, drama, action, heart-warming, and yes, even culinary entertainment. At any moment of the day, we have seven little characters exploring their world, sampling new taste sensations (suet = good, spinach = bad), bunking down together for an impromptu group nap, and performing dazzling athletic feats.

Take Dennis, for example. Our little Seabright chick earned his name -- the first of the seven to be christened -- by displaying his amazing leaping skill. By the end of his first hour in the brooder, Dennis had leapt over Eggbert, Gloria, the chick feeders, and the chicks' training roost. He may not bear any physical resemblance to the late Oscar-nominated actor — except perhaps a piercing stare — but that tiny brown bantam quickly was dubbed Dennis (Hopper).

Dennis is also the most talented scratcher in the group. By their fourth day with us, all seven chicks were scratching at their pine-shaving litter, displaying the instinctive ability to forage. Chickens use their talons to scratch at the ground and uncover bugs, tender shoots, and other outdoor edibles. Our brooder didn't hold anything interesting amongst or beneath the shavings other than old newspaper, but that didn't stop the chickies from checking things out with their tiny talons. Dennis, however, would go beyond a simple scratch and look. He scratched and clawed his way through the two inches of shavings, kicking up a cloud of dust and pine particles all over his brooder mates. We were vastly amused by this; the other chicks were not.

Dennis was not alone in his athletic abilities. Eggbert the Ameraucana chick developed a morning ritual I nicknamed "Klang." At each end of the brooder, we'd hung a thermometer to help us properly gauge the temperature within, making sure it was at the proper level for baby chicks. There was nothing special about these thermometers: they're your basic white metal rectangles with red liquid that rises with the heat. When pecked at the bottom, however, these thermometers made the loveliest KLANG! sound as they clunked against the brooder wall. Once the sun had risen and I'd refreshed the chick's water, feed, and pine shavings, Eggbert would stroll over to one of the thermometers, stare intently at it, then leap up and give the thermometer a peck. KLANG! This soon became my morning work music, as I put away the shavings, chick starter, and other chick-related items. KLANG! KLANG! KLANG! KLANG! KLANG! Only Eggbert ever truly mastered Klang; Belle, one of our Old English Game chicks, was the only other chick to manage to klang the thermometer.

Belle, however, had a different talent. She was speedy, incredibly so, especially when she'd found a choice morsel that she wanted to keep away from everyone else. We discovered this one evening when, thanks to the warmer weather, I found a housefly buzzing around in the kitchen. J was about to dispatch it when I remembered reading about chicks chasing bugs around their brooders. J caught the bug and handed it to me and, carrying it gingerly over to the brooders, I made a tuck-tuck-tuck sound (how mother hens call chicks over to food), then slowly lowered my hand towards the inquisitive chicks.

Snap! Belle quickly snatched the bug out of my fingers and tore away from the rest of the chicks, peeping madly as she ran. Most of the others immediately gave chase. Cutie, Dennis, and Gloria stood their ground and watched as Belle dashed around the brooder's perimeter, nimbly jumping through the chick roost, dodging her fellow chicks as they attempted to grab the tasty insect from her beak. Eggbert eventually made the grab and ran off in the opposite direction, also peeping as he went. A new chase started, with chicks dashing after the new leader and Belle trying to recover her prize. Blaziken snatched it from Eggbert and proceeded to sprint away but, just as the others changed course and headed towards her, Blaziken swallowed the fly. Talk about bringing the action to a screeching halt!

The chicks' lively reaction to the fly caused a scurry of action amongst the rest of us. The kids combed the house, searching for insects to feed to the babies (nothing but a couple of desiccated ladybugs), while J checked the garage for more flies. I had a better idea. I'd seen containers of dry-roasted mealworms in the hatchery catalogs touted as a hen's favorite treat. I always keep a bag of roasted mealworms for the bluebirds that live on our acreage. Now was as good a time as any to see if the chicks would like them, too. I got out one and, placing it on my palm, slowly lowered it so that the chicks could see what I was offering. After a few head tilts and curious stares, Belle reached out with her beak and grabbed it. Bug Race #2 was underway! While Belle raced away from her pursuers, I shook a few more mealworms onto my palm. Within seconds I was swamped with chicks trying to grab the worms from me. Belle eventually stopped running, ate her treat, then trotted over to see what all the fuss was about. I shook out a few more mealworms for the chicks to enjoy.

By the time J emerged from the garage, flyless, I was offering the mealworms one by one, just below the rim of the brooder, while Blaziken, Gloria, Eggbert, Barbra, and Dennis jumped up to my fingers to grab the little snacks. J watched in amazed amusement for a moment, then turned to me, a serious look on his face.

"We're going to need a bigger brooder."

Uh oh.